As I darkened my eyes with the dust of sadness...

I darkened my eyes

with the dust of sadness

until each of them was a sea full of pearls

All the tears which I shed for him

are not tears as many think but pearls...

I am complaining about the soul of the soul

but I'm no complainer; I'm simply saying how it is

My heart tell me it is distressed with him

bu I can only laugh at such pretended injuries.

Where is this "we" and this "I"?

By the side of the Beloved.

You made this "we" and this "I"

in order that you might play

this game of courtship with yourself

that all "you's" and "I's" might become one soul

and finally drown in the Beloved

Is it possible for the bodily eye to see you?

can thought comprehend your laughter or grief?

tell me now, can it possibly see you at all?

such heart has only borrowed things to live with.

The garden of love is green without limit

and yields many fruits other than sorrow or joy.

Love is beyond either condition:

without spring, without autumn, it is always fresh.

Feeling miserable

I was in New York ever since Steve when up to the Arctic.

I am not in a very good mood, I missed him so much, his mobile reception is not very clear or worst not reachable, no broadband services, no nothing.

My paperworks are pile up in my office table in New York and worst are yet to come. I can't concentrate! getting help from my ex-MBA students here with my works. Thanks God.

Send little one to stay up with Lilly, Steve's Mom.

I am in total mess,( drop 10pounds for that) and

Yesterday, i was invited to witness an event, for ex-Merck CEO Roy Vagelos (former student of College of Physicians & Surgeons) and his wife giving away a donation of 50million dolor to Columbia University to help construct a medical and graduate education campus at the New York Institution's medical campus.

(should later ask the Physicians to come up with my miserable feeling cure-not another happy pills)

Wish i had that amount of money so i could live and fly free like a bird.

but, not yet! just a dream.

Still feeling miserable and %$W%&^%$&%^*%^

Leaving New York, next week (not exact date) and reporting to ECB in Berlin or Frankfurt .

Celebrating Hobbit Day

What are the grounds of parenthood? What is it that makes someone a parent?

Oh! What are the qualities every parent should have?

AggHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have any...just stumble into my panic button (hello, we gay do have that button,

realize it or not) accept for my gratification towards education. enuf say.

The things is that little daughter of mine have this

"The Long Awaited Party: to Celebrate Hobbit Day"

Yeah.. you probably thoughts me insane but it is true darling. Today marks an interesting holiday that is not widely observed.

You can support your show by going barefoot for the day, smoke grass (not for kids - gosh i missed that time) or drinking beer (not my kind of drinks either) but definitely not going totally bare naked to other(which i am fond of doing so) or at least you could speak a little Scottish or Irish accents to other(twist my tongue for that).

So. i have received the invitation card from the nursery that the kids are having the get together party to celebrate the hobbit day and guess what, Parents are invited. hohohoh

Since Steve@hubby was in Oslo, Norway. I suppose to go to the party alone (sadly). The little one will miss his daddy so much!

and the turnoff here is :

PARENTS ARE TO DRESS IN HOBBIT COSTUME!

arghhhhhhh! when and where in the world am i going to find all that! oh why hubby insisting to get her into this nursery after all(i am running crazy). This is not a Halloween yet!

So here i am, after pressing my panic button to my dear Steve, last night and he got me Bilbo Baggins dress from this local shop for me. I am so gonna be old later by today!

So! am i a lesser parent for what i am?

I think so........but hey nobody perfect, i might be good with my academics and corporate banking and financial

, but i am not a good parent...just not yet!

This is just one...Steve want to add another one more into our family...this time it's gonna be a boy he say for sure.

Should i hire a nanny or i am not sure what!

Phone Sex!

I likes doing phone sex with Steve. Talking dirty all the time telling our inhibited sexual desire. heheheh

Whenever possible, from on the way back home in the bus or taxi, or from my office during lunch hour or not, and the worst is during meeting. YUMMY LEAKING DOWN UNDER!

If phone sex is not available, we do text to each other, exactly like phone sex or we hook our self with using the Yahoo Messenger ++.

We kept our sexual letter (years ago) to each other with few of em really stink (reading and masturbate simultaneously) or worst case scenarios-full of cream.

I personally think that in relationship both must know how to spice up and play the role to each other, Telling how much you missed him, how do you love to be fuck by him all day and night, and all the details.

Steve habit if i may say here is putting the nasty post notes around the house for me, for instance; "wanna suck ur dick" on my fav 2(x)ist hipster or writing how he love love me so much on my protein milk shaker in the freezer! using permanent marker.

We do hold hand or kissing in the public very often, but not in Asian country, consider as taboo.

I am not bragging about my relationship but i believe that you need to take up a serious action when you are with someone that you like so much. Talks about it and see what is your partner reaction.

I am going to miss my smelly(but i like that smell) husband for quite some time, a month or two, and we cant easily get to call each other during these period. North Pole, according to him having very slow telecommunication equipment.

God save me from this loneliness!

Tout en tenant compte que

Lately, I was sooo Lazy!

Steve never would say anything... as long as the foods are serve and his cloths are prepare! lol

The little one was so happy, she will spend her day in nursery, despite language problem, i think she manage it very well and make friends.

End of this month Steve will be in North Pole for a month or so for his latest project. I am very glad for him, and for that he have to undergo series of health screen and survival training. Uhmm I like seeing all his tight muscles. yummy

His mother will stay with us until end of December, she is up with her new books and maybe visiting lecturer here in Berlin University.

I might take up a new position after giving thought to the best and the brightest. Thanks God!

good luck me!

I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

When we registered our marriage at the New York City Marriage Bureau, little that we know about partnership,little that we know about each other needs and requirement and so very little that we know about each other family.

But yet, we take our vows to love each other every day and help each other to understand each other temperament.

This very song was and will always with us forever...enjoy

I'm Gonna Make You Love Me
The Supremes & The Temptations
(Ken Gamble/Jerry Ross/Jerry Williams)

I'm gonna do all the thing for you
A girl wants a man to do
Oh, baby (Oh, baby)
I'll sacrifice for you
I'll even do wrong for you
Oh, baby (Oh, baby)

Every minute, every hour
I'm gonna shower you
With love and affection
Look out, it's comin' in your direction
And I'm

I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will
I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will

Look here
My love is strong, you see
I know you'll never get tired of me
Oh, baby (Oh, baby)
And I'm gonna use every trick in the book
I'll try my best to get you hooked
Hey, baby (Hey, baby)

And every night, every day
I'm gonna say
I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you
Look out boy, 'cause I'm gonna get you

I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will
And I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
You know I will

Every breathe I take
And each and every step I make
Brings me closer, baby
Closer to you

And with each beat of my heart
For every day we're apart
I'll hunger for every wasted hour

And I...
Every night
And every day
I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you
Look out, 'cause I'm gonna get you

I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will
I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will

I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will
I'm gonna make you love me
Oh, yes I will
Yes I will