Marriage or Mirage?

I'm reading The Commitment, Dan Savage's memoir about getting married to his boyfriend Terry. In chapter two, they each describe the reasons why they don't want to get married. Terry says he doesn't want to "act like straight people," an argument that perhaps does have some merit but is not something I feel wise enough to address.

The reason Dan doesn't want to get married is one I haven't thought of. He says making a big, public stink about your relationship is the best way to curse it. And he cites numerous examples starting with Bob Paris and Rod Jackson, the gay bodybuilders who got married in the early 90's, even hyphenated their names, and eventually got divorced. The list continues:

And who can forget Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche on Oprah, blathering on about being each other's "wives" after they'd been together for, what, four days?

Or Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher on Larry King talking up their eternal love (and David Crosby's fast-acting spunk) shortly before they split?

More recent casualties: gay actor B. D. Wong wrote a book about having a child with his partner, Richie Jackson, and then promptly broke up with Jackson after the book tour.

Gay comic Bob Smith closed his memoir, Openly Bob, with the uplifting story of how he finally met Mr. Right. His next book was about breaking up with Mr. Right.

Chip and Dale, the impossibly good-looking gay couple on one season of The Amazing Race, insisted that they be identified as a married couple. They broke up eleven seconds after they cashed their check.

Thanks for bumming me out, Dan. Though I'm only in chapter two, I'm fairly confident going through with commitment and are still together today. So hopefully there's nothing to that curse.

Man Skills

Via The Republic of T, here's the list of 25 skills every man should know. Ones Steve & I cover together are in bold.

1. Patch a radiator hose
2. Protect your computer
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
4. Frame a wall
5. Retouch digital photos
6. Back up a trailer
7. Build a campfire
8. Fix a dead outlet
9. Navigate with a map and compass
10. Use a torque wrench
11. Sharpen a knife
12. Perform CPR
13. Fillet a fish
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
15. Get a car unstuck
16. Back up data
17. Paint a room
18. Mix concrete
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
20. Change oil and filter
21. Hook up an HDTV
22. Bleed brakes
23. Paddle a canoe
24. Fix a bike flat
25. Extend your wireless network

I find these completely ridiculous. How will these make me a better man? Are they practical skills I'll need throughout life? CPR, I can see. Rescuing a capsized boat? No. Are these skills that women are somehow incapable of, & therefore the men of the world must know them?

Here are 20 things that I'd call "25 practical skills every self-sufficient adult should have."

1. Know basic nutritional needs & how to plan balanced meals
2. Hone your sense of direction & navigation so you don't need step-by-step turns to find a location
3. Understand types of health insurance & terminology such as OOP max & co-insurance percentage
4. Maintenance of a personal computer
5. In-depth knowledge of your employment benefits
6. Change a flat tire
7. Wash & iron clothes
8. Balance a checkbook & manage your finances
9. Patch holes in walls
10. Fix a clogged toilet
11. Jump start a car
12. Use public transportation to get around
13. Write an effective resume cover letter
14. Professional oral & written communication
15. Basic math
16. Stay calm in emergencies
17. Know when to ask for help
18. Personal hygiene
19. Do your own taxes
20. Use internet search engines strategically (if you know how to do good searches, you can find any information you need on the web)