I'm reading The Commitment, Dan Savage's memoir about getting married to his boyfriend Terry. In chapter two, they each describe the reasons why they don't want to get married. Terry says he doesn't want to "act like straight people," an argument that perhaps does have some merit but is not something I feel wise enough to address.
The reason Dan doesn't want to get married is one I haven't thought of. He says making a big, public stink about your relationship is the best way to curse it. And he cites numerous examples starting with Bob Paris and Rod Jackson, the gay bodybuilders who got married in the early 90's, even hyphenated their names, and eventually got divorced. The list continues:
And who can forget Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche on Oprah, blathering on about being each other's "wives" after they'd been together for, what, four days?
Or Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher on Larry King talking up their eternal love (and David Crosby's fast-acting spunk) shortly before they split?
More recent casualties: gay actor B. D. Wong wrote a book about having a child with his partner, Richie Jackson, and then promptly broke up with Jackson after the book tour.
Gay comic Bob Smith closed his memoir, Openly Bob, with the uplifting story of how he finally met Mr. Right. His next book was about breaking up with Mr. Right.
Chip and Dale, the impossibly good-looking gay couple on one season of The Amazing Race, insisted that they be identified as a married couple. They broke up eleven seconds after they cashed their check.
Thanks for bumming me out, Dan. Though I'm only in chapter two, I'm fairly confident going through with commitment and are still together today. So hopefully there's nothing to that curse.
4 comments:
Hmmn. Not a good start, then.
Pete and me met in 2001 after courting on the internet!
Didn't get legally tied until year. Up until them we had a narrowboat each - an asset each. When we decided to sell them and sink both our monies into the house, it called for the commitment to be made 'real'.
Last year, just before we did it, Pete was taken into hospital (only 48 hours and all OK) but I couldn't get to hear of what was wrong because I wasn't his 'partner' or 'related'.
I am that now and it's recorded at our doctor's surgery. AND we've got the certificate to prove it!
Of course, we're both fit as fiddles!
darling dearest
maybe we can post our marriage certificate in the blog.
tell me if these are good ideas!
We also tied our knot last year and had no regrets so far.
nak bermadu bley?? hik hik
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