November

Another new month! and it is near to end of 2011,

bloody hell that i am well pad-lock with my current position, i was travelling around the globe for it, and i left my dearly hubby in Oslo for treatment,

he is up and down with his treatment, so i might consider an offer to send him to Cuba for cancer treatment, but on our own expenses! bloody hell with the insurance company thee are having slide confusion with authorized cancer treatment from USA,

what is the high premium my hubby paid for?

I cant reveal too much on my work order! nor that i could comments on nik the greek recent update on greece...sorry dear.

nor can i update my sex esplanade(do i have one lately) like Lee-queen of cambridge, hahaha

My life currently more on Jetting and meeting people for either selling or giving bon. My good phrase when introducing myself is

"Do you want to have a loan?" and be prepare to be chop off.....

Oh most probably our Christmas this year will be in Cuba,

The Summer Begin

Happy Summer to all of you!

I will be busy with my hubby and my new position at world bank! OK it's Confirm! but I am to handle my current portfolio in ECB for the next 6 months!

hehhe TWO salary! and I am IN.......

MUAHHHHHHHHH TO MY HUBBY!

Thanks for your approval! you always support me and love me!

Young gov leaders: Love them or lose them

Hence I am growing ancient-with ancient inner feeling. I would love to watch thee leading their way to govern this government! Not from scandal, but with dignity and knowledge they posses and experience they learn from us, the great leader! (who-wanna-puke!)

For me this is kinda Aristotle-Plato thingy! but I simple cut the philosophy part and being practical about it!

It's easy to look at the younger generation - with their high expectations and big demands - and scoff, Yes they have so much to learn, but they also have a lot to give.

After spending some time last week at the Next Generation of Government Summit by the social networking site ops! classified- and by the professional organization Young Government Leaders, I was left thinking how strong our government will be if we effectively harness the intelligence, creativity, drive and ethusiasm of this up-and-coming group of employees.

The fact is we need tofind ways to make young government leaders stay and grow in government, I have five ideas for retaining younger employees while grooming them to lead:

1. Focus on the firsts - these are important milestone for every employee, Make a checklist for each of these firsts
2. keep them inspired -keep that fire lit, not only with words of wisdom, but making sure they know exactly how their work fits in to your mission.
3. Tap their brains - Mark my bloody words, if you don't keep your younger employees challenged and on their intellectual toes, you will lose them. Asking them for new ideas, feedback and to engage in problem-solving will help everyone. They will be excited about their work, and I -(the bloody master) benefit from their fresh perspective and energy.
4. Show them the path to leadership - Younger people today are restless and are not afraid to take risks and seek new opportunities. Help stem the turnover tide by showing them exactly how they can advance. If you can get them excited by the challenge of making it to the next level, you will keep them on board and they will work harder.
5. Pair them up- Always Create a fulfilling experience for everyone by pairing interested, long -term employees with newbies.

By the time I am writing this, my hubby is getting better and he deserve my best interest for I am taking a month off from my jobs! Million Thanks to my support staff.

Nothing can define a great love for such a scarification and I am telling this to my staff. Job, The Company, friends will leave you but not your true love!

Happy springtime!

Post Bahasa Ibunda! and for international readers as well

Uols selalu tak Iron dan cuci baju laki masing2

Wah mek tahu Cik Puan Lee D Ratu memang rajin membasuh dan mengosok baju laki nya! kan kan kan!

Tapi kita enjoy kan buat benda2 macam itu! Mek ni sejak dari zaman ber bf lagi rajin mengosok dan membasuh baju laki mek nii! matilah kuli batak!

Dah jadi gay berkejaya pun masih lagi mek tetap basuh baju, seluar, boxer, stokin laki mek nyehh semua! bukan lah mek nak cakap besar kan tapi itu lah antara tanda kasih kita. apa korang sanggup?

Bagi kami nak pergi makan kat luar tu adoiii payah! laki mek tetap nak makan masakan kat rumah! so kenalah masak uols!

ni tetap sakit sakit laki mek ni banyak benor minta nya nak makan itu lah ini lah! wah demand gituh, semenjak ubat cancer dah berkesan dan cancer spreading dah stop, wah mula lah nak makan itu ini! kesian lah pula kan. mek ikut kan saje! matila kalah pompuan mengandung!

nak makan nasi lemak katanya, masak lah nasi lemak, melilau cari ikan bilis kat Berlin ni! gila kejap! nun jauh ke Frankfurt pergi beli cili kering,belacan, ikan bilis bagai! adalah 3-4 jam naik train. Bukan lah macam si izuan tu! wah khelas ko maria. petik2 jari dah makan kat rumah kawan bagai!

Tak pa lah mek ingat ingat dulu masa mek kat hospital, siang malam dia jaga, sampai nak ke bilik air pun berdua! matilah sex dalam bilik air hospital! keji

OK now is for international readers,

Do you iron your husband clothes? I do and I have done it since we are boyfriend kinda relationship! I don't mind doing it, for me I called it as part of the training so I understand him, apart from assimilating his bod scenes!

Hence than until now I still doing my duty without any complaints, although few of my friends did scrutinized my action but I pretend not to listen.

For me I can run my household without any helper, morning chores for hubby and little one, cook for both ,send little one to play school, rush to office, lunch with my hubby in hospital, back to office and pick little one from nursery and went to see his daddy in hospital and back home by midnight!

pretty much tiring! but I must not feel that thou!

I remember my hubby is one who loved to eat whatsoever I cooked for him, we hardly or never dine outside accept for attending ceremony or party! recently after his cancer spreading has stop and medications work, he really want to eat "Nasi Lemak" oh yeah you could google it.

I 've to run down to Frankfurt for part of the ingredients! took 3-4 hours by train! I am not complaining but I am satisfied to cook for him.

I remember when I was hospitalized for my heart problem, he was there night and day taking care of me, up to we went for shower both....hahahha together! heheheheh I just loved that idea of bathing together! To make it sounds nasty its was in the hospital! huhuhuhu

Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me

Steve D, I Love you and remember we dance through this song on our anniversary years!

Have faith in me dear!

And I won't go home without you

I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen

She left before I had the chance to say

Oh

The words that would mend the things that were broken

But now it's far too late, she's gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep

Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?

Why does every moment have to be so hard?"

Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you

The taste of her breath, I'll never get over

The noises that she made kept me awake

Oh

The weight of things that remain unspoken

Built up so much it crushed us everyday

Every night you cry yourself to sleep

Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?

Why does every moment have to be so hard?"

Hard to believe that

[ Won't Go Home Without You lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you

Of all the things I felt but never really shown

Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go

I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I won't go home without you

And I won't go home without you

And I won't go home without you

And I won't go home without you

This Weekend

Recently i was running on Bipolar mood! very sure i get it from my hectic bloody schedules of meeting and analyzing tones of report from the series of Banking Stress Test from all over Europe!

Not that i complaining but i have this bad habits for running out of mood and my mouth will go BITCHY on the spot!

Last Tuesday i had an argument with my hubby! over the simplest thing! (i won't elaborate here,probably my Director is reading my blog! feel so stupid) and

with angry moody monster i am, left him and little one in Berlin and off i go for 2 days meeting in Brussels!

What makes me turn to be more angry later on is, my hubby have this kind of habits that he, will not pick up my call, reply my email instantly, Yahoo Messenger me, etc2...

What the fuck!

I left Brussels and went to London for my step sister! Not going anywhere in London, home stay, babysit my step sister children! until...

Hubby send me an email, quite recently! (typical man) asking "Are you coming back today? We (mom,bro,little one and me) are waiting you for summer!"

AND

He add"Don't worry i am not angry with you

Please come back home later on!"

i missed everybody!

HUBBY FORGIVE ME

Nous t'aimons bien

Just came back from my workplace, have a peep over little Sophie in her room, sleeping so good. and she wrote a wish card for me saying"Nous t'aimons bien" we love you very much!

It makes me cry and when i saw my hubby sleeping at the couch, it makes my heart falls apart. I knew that he always horny and want me in his arms, I'm his living pillow, he told me.

I am a bit cheer up tonights, all my efforts and our team efforts has shown some positives result. Euro has reached and closed at E1.3000 yesterday. Our first ever benchmark have somehow shows and better than IMF predictions.

My fight on Austerity VS Stimulus is indeed effectives. I don't have to be on Charlie Ross-Bloomberg TV to proofs it! stupid...

But my straggling to keep my small family happy is at stakes. I can't very well juggling both situations, at least Steve has been very supportive and given me encouragement that I should continue with my doing.

He will make sure everything will be fine.

I can't very well falls asleep after sex, which I normally does! I stare my lovely hubby face and I saw a slight disappointment, (yeahh!!! pleasure face indeed after he get what he wants the most) change to worries and many other.

Steve, please forgive me if I has and always make your life difficult, I have no other attention but for us to live comfortably at least.

Spoils Me, pampers me!

I am married to a successful man, who pampers and spoils me. I want for nothing.

I utterly adore my husband, and give myself to him completely, body and soul. I belong to him, and am his to do with as he pleases. I deny him nothing and would do anything he desires.

It pleases him to pamper me and spoil me, and I am the grateful recipient of his love. I never take him for granted and I would be in a panic if I ever thought I had disappointed him or let him down even the slightest, and would be frantic to regain his approval, miserable until I had reassurance that he had forgiven me.

I know just how pampered and spoiled I am, and I fully aware of my privileged status. I share as much of it as I can with my friends and neighbors, opening up my life to them and inviting them to take part in my rich rewards, entertaining them and sharing our home, our boat, our lifestyle with them as much as we can.We live our American's dreams.

I used to think that I was unaffected by being pampered and spoiled, but I no longer believe that. I am his pampered, spoiled pet, and I have lost touch with that simple boy who once was me. I know that I have changed and can never go back to my humble roots. It would be cultural shock for me now.

Is your boyfriend really in love with you?

Is Your Men aka Boyfriend aka Husband Really In Love With You?

But then, how do you know if your boy love . . . your boyfriend's love . . . is true love?

No doubt, there is an avalanche of information on how to tell if your man's love is true love.

But honestly, many of those love sites are filled with nothing but theory.

I prefer to be realistic.

We're talking about your future here, you know. Anything short of realistic, down-to-earth practicable and doable approach is useless.

Enough of the grammar.

So, how do you tell if your boy love is genuine?

Hey, wait.

Has he really told you he loves you?

That is a good starting point.

Why?

Well, many boys think the man they're dating, their boyfriend, is in love with them without actually asking him. There have been cases when a boy tells a boy he has been going out with for months, "I didn't say I love you. I simply said I like you?"

So the guy leaves and the boy is heart broken.

But wait a minute. Is there any difference between 'likeness' and love? Is "I love you" the same thing as "I like you"?

Likeness is different from love.

When a man likes you it means he enjoys being with you because, perhaps, you have some things in common and he likes your carriage or approach to issues.

He likes the way you walk. He likes the way you smile. He likes the way you deal with people. He likes the fact that you're smart and intelligent.

But does he love you? Maybe, maybe not.

Why so?

Well, love is a deeper feeling. Love is deeper than likeness.

When your boyfriend loves you, he spends more time with you. He's anxious to be with you. He wants to spend his life with you. He feels guilty if he's with someone else. He's willing to sacrifice everything for you. His heart belongs to you.

Your boy love, your boyfriend love, is for you and you alone if he wants to spend his life with you despite your weaknesses or shortcomings.

A man who recognizes your weaknesses and decides to live with them loves you.

Question: How do you know your boy love is for you? How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

Answer: Ask him this simple question. "Do you love me?"

Let him say it. Do not assume your boy love is for you because he has been your boyfriend for four years or more.

Question: Why should you care that your boyfriend loves you or not?

Answer: Because love is the very essence of having a relationship.

Question: So how do you know your boyfriend loves you?

Answer: Test him.(you figure it out! ok)

Do not stake your life with a man unless you're absolutely sure he's your ideal man. Be absolutely sure he loves you. Be absolutely sure this boy love is for you and you alone.

Love is a natural thing. Opposites attract each other.

However, before you commit everything you've got to your boyfriend, make sure the boy love is genuine. Make sure he truly loves you.

p/s Another important thing to remember is that all men love oral sex. So What?

Soul Train -closer I get to you.

The closer I get to you
The more you'll make me see
By giving me all you've got
Your love has captured me

Over and over again
I try to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside
I knew it was real
The way you make me feel

Lying here next to you
Time just seems to fly
Needing you more and more
Let's give love a try

Sweeter than sweeter love grows
And heaven's there for those
Who fool the tricks of time
With the hearts in love they find
True love
In a special way

The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you've got
Your love has captured me

Over and over again
I try to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside
I knew it was real
The way you make me feel

The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving you all I've got
Your love has captured me

The closer I get to you
A feeling comes over me

Soul Train - Let's Stay Together.

Soul train presenting the famous evergreen from reverend All Green's in the 70's.

Let's Stay Together.

I'm, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is alright with me
'Cause you make me feel, so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Me sayin' since, baby, since we've been together
Ooo, loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me, be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue
Ooo baby

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Oooo oooo ooo ooo, yeah
Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why people break up
Oh, and turn around and make up
I just can't seeeeeeeee
You'd never do that to me
(Would you baby)
'Cause being around you is all I see
It's why I want us to

Let's, let's stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Luv u guys!!!

My so call life

Oh! life can be quite bored sometimes, i wish i am dear Audrey H, in the breakfast in tiffany. Party and dance every day and night. Just a dream.

Wish that i could fly like a bird, but where will i go? i maybe tired with chores and multiple of chores. i might need to quit for a while. Question is can i afford to do so?

Steve said that i am going through my phase? but what phase? am i in the right trail right now? i am not loss neither mad! but i feel so damn tired with life!not that i wanna die tough! but i feel i should take a break.

A one year break from whatsoever i am doing right now. having distressed myself with Steve darling and little baby Sophie, whom i love so much.

Have you ever thought of going for a longer break before? meaning secured life without having a single worried over the amounts of pennies in your bank account.

Right now! i am calculating my financial viable for one year break period. Not only for myself but for my entire family (all three of us). Its all sounds and look very promising, minus our Family Health Care. Yes i knows how important this to us.

So many possibility and suggestion. Whatever is! i just wanna have a break. Not in stated but maybe we choose Europe or i dunno where? where we could afford a living. Maybe going back to Malaysia is the answer. Since the exchange rate is more favorable in our side.

Whatever step we might decide, we need to be rationale and positives, that what Steve told me.

I Love You For The Sentimental Reason

Luv!!Pls come to me as soon as possible. I have already missing you and I need you.

Marriage or Mirage?

I'm reading The Commitment, Dan Savage's memoir about getting married to his boyfriend Terry. In chapter two, they each describe the reasons why they don't want to get married. Terry says he doesn't want to "act like straight people," an argument that perhaps does have some merit but is not something I feel wise enough to address.

The reason Dan doesn't want to get married is one I haven't thought of. He says making a big, public stink about your relationship is the best way to curse it. And he cites numerous examples starting with Bob Paris and Rod Jackson, the gay bodybuilders who got married in the early 90's, even hyphenated their names, and eventually got divorced. The list continues:

And who can forget Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche on Oprah, blathering on about being each other's "wives" after they'd been together for, what, four days?

Or Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher on Larry King talking up their eternal love (and David Crosby's fast-acting spunk) shortly before they split?

More recent casualties: gay actor B. D. Wong wrote a book about having a child with his partner, Richie Jackson, and then promptly broke up with Jackson after the book tour.

Gay comic Bob Smith closed his memoir, Openly Bob, with the uplifting story of how he finally met Mr. Right. His next book was about breaking up with Mr. Right.

Chip and Dale, the impossibly good-looking gay couple on one season of The Amazing Race, insisted that they be identified as a married couple. They broke up eleven seconds after they cashed their check.

Thanks for bumming me out, Dan. Though I'm only in chapter two, I'm fairly confident going through with commitment and are still together today. So hopefully there's nothing to that curse.