Do you know? - Biological Imperative

For better or worse, we are our parents. The influence of their genes and their parenting in our lives is impossible to ignored. Which is why you sometimes look into a mirror and see your mother/father...

You're just like your father, the six words that used to make me cringe. You might as well as insult me and say: "you're old fashioned and a nag".

like most girls and boys, i grew up determined to not be anything like my father. I recognized his good points, of course! but i also saw so much that was unreasonable, old-fashioned and stubbornness. I loathed the way he judge my lifestyle (very very difficult, indeed) and the way he tormented me when i act gay (he said "do you really wanna be women-i cut off your dick!!!)

I put up with all these things in my childhood and they drove me crazy during my teens, but by the time i left school, i was also ready to leave home.

I believed and vowed - foolishly, it seems to me now! that i was going to be very much different. Little did i know that the very same attitudes, thoughts and idiosyncrasies were living and forming deep within me; that i was slowly, inexplicable and inexorable becoming my father.

Your parent is your world until you're 12 years old or so. Then, for the next twenty years you go through an exhilarating love-hate-love ride that ultimately provides you with an understanding of your parents that is both painful and delightful.

You suddenly realize that they are the only person in the world who really knows you after all; the only person who can still tell when you're upset or angry or sad just by looking at your face; the only person who truly love you unconditionally.

Whether or not it is true of all of us, I cannot say. However i am coming to accept that my father is a part of me which i will never rid of. Although i can still tell the different between his good and his bad points, the lines between the two are getting rather blurred.

The things about him that i viewed as chronic failures of obsessive parenthood now seem like simple acts of humanity instead. I am even -gasp - coming to admire him for his strength.

I once blamed him for get married for 2nd time after my mom death. But after a few years of hacking it out in the real world myself, I can see why he had to do it (although he simply followed grandma wishes!stupid). I also once said i hated him for not allowing me to go on with my PhD. But peeps, when you in deep trouble (shit), my father was there to support me, in bad time or good time, unconditionally.

So, for my coming birthday,my resolution are: First, i will try to love my father better, not only in monetary values, but try my best to understand him better.

Second, to gives 10% out from my yearly earning to the poor, unconditionally. and last but not least trying harder to be a good Muslim in future.